thequantumqueer:

robotlyra:

rhube:

bastardlybrendan:

fuckingrecipes:

facts-i-just-made-up:

I spent like 15 hours on this.

*impressed slow clap*

This was ridiculously pleasing to read out loud. 

This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.

this is DOCTOR SEUSS levels of word and rhyme alchemy

[screenshot of an ask. demondaze asked “Can you explain how crackers are made?” and the response is as follows:

First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch
then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch
so the batter mixer nozzle can descend into the patch
where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.

When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray
and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze
then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze
that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.

Once the cracker stacker handle stacks the cracker batter squares
then the cracker batter’s hardened into double stacks of pairs.
Now the cracker separator breaks the crackers in the stackers
so the wrappers in the stackers fit the finished stacking crackers.

Then they’re distributed to Wal-Mart.]

trinandtonic:

patbaer:

fairylightshowell:

oliviasblogisawesome:

strampunch:

fairytail-angel:

verityglasses:

combthecombel:

pokemon-chick-1personalblog:

strampunch:

mobians-and-emeralds:

coffeeandcursewords:

rootbeersweetheart:

usedtobehmc:

jamesbleach:

onceuponakhaleesi:

luckydreaming:

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

oh man, some new ones popped up in here. excellent. 

this post… is tumblr

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/sourflame/91450166343/tumblr_mss6s0CDfq1qes8cg?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://sourflame.tumblr.com/post/91450166343/audio_player_iframe/sourflame/tumblr_mss6s0CDfq1qes8cg?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fsourflame%2F91450166343%2Ftumblr_mss6s0CDfq1qes8cg

supremewhitegirl:

dendropsyche:

thenimbus:

bonbonbunny:

‘What kind of overalls does Mario wear?’

image