here is an idea: normalise the idea that adopting kids is a valid option even for parents who could conceive a child themselves, and not just an inferior backup option for parents who can’t
Just coming from an adopted kid, the benefits of adoption: -When your kid asks where they come from you can literally say you pre-ordered them and waited for them to come in. My dad always equated picking me up from the hospital to ordering a sofa at k-mart and it always made me laugh. No need to explain pregnancy till they’re older. -Your child will always know it was wanted and on purpose. My parents waited 5 years for me. They waited. For me to be born. I was wanted, from the moment I came into this world, by the people who raised me. -You don’t have to pay for pregnancy or birth. Just adoption fees. No thirty thousand dollar hospital bill. -You don’t have to give birth, or be pregnant, both of which objectively suck. -The biological parents of that baby will be so happy that there is someone in the world who is willing to watch over their child. The relief that comes with that is overwhelming. -You’re saving a child’s life that would otherwise potentially be stuck in the adoption and foster system for their entire childhood.
I’ve always heard arguments about wanting the baby to be ‘yours’ but really. My parents are my parents. Just because I don’t share their DNA doesn’t mean I’m not theirs. When it comes right down to it, blood of the bond is thicker than water of the womb.
As another adopted kid, I second every point made here. When I’m asked if it’s weird having been adopted, the simple answer I always give is, “No, because I know for damned sure my parents love me and I love them to death too.”
Let a child into your life who needs a good life of their own. Consider adoption.
Also stop believing TV, Kids wanna be adopted and most of them aren’t gonna get with their adopted parents and then be like “well it’s been fun having you raise me since before I could talk and loving me for the past 12-15 years but fuck you now I’m going to find my real family and live with them forever and be a “normal teenager/child.”
America needs to stop putting blood relationships above every other type of family.
Also, as an addition to everything but especially the last point: TELL YOUR KID THEY ARE ADOPTED. The last situation only happens if its kept a secret because it becomes a grass is always greener scenario. If the child knows, it becomes a normal thing.
As a child who was adopted when I was 12, I was totally in support of my adoption. Actually the final hearing was postponed a short while so I could turn 12 & submit my own statement to the judge. I went through so many years of abuse, neglect, and abandonment. I *wanted* someone who *wanted* me. I love my Mama Bear with all my heart. She’s my world. She saved my life.
Consider adopting. There are so many children in the foster & adoption systems that are desperate for a loving home. I’ve also been through the foster system, and it is hell. Straight up. There is no money, too many kids for the system to handle, and social workers who have been so beaten down by the bureaucracy that they don’t try anything. And that is the Canadian system. I cannot imagine what kind of fresh hell the U.S. system is like. Save a child from that. And not only babies are options. Consider it. Please.
The way people dismiss non-genetic familial bonds is honestly such pervasive and insidious bullshit!! Literally the number one response to telling people I was adopted (particularly when I was young) was always, “oh, ooooooh, SORRY, I didn’t KNOW” — like I had been forced to admit something uncouth and embarrassing?? — followed by “so do you know who your REAL parents are?”
People are always asking if growing up adopted made me feel inferior, or insecure, or somehow bad. No, it never did! But you know what does?? This: “I don’t think I could ever adopt. I want a REAL kid. Oh, you know what I mean…. who’s really MINE, you know?”
I’m going through a lot of uterus-related medical fuckery right now and EVERY TIME I bring up the subject of a hysterectomy people (including doctors) get that pinched look, all, “but KIDS!”
It doesn’t go away when I say, “I don’t want kids, and if I change my mind, I can adopt.” If anything it just gets weirdly condescending, like I don’t understand how “inferior” that option is. FUCK. OFF.
I have this same argument with my mum a lot.
For me, it’s not so much that I don’t want children, it’s that I never want to put my body through pregnancy. I have always stood firmly that if I get older and decide that I do want kids, I’m adopting them. It frustrates me so much that people give me this pitying look and say something along the lines of “but what if they’re damaged”. As if it’s a child’s own fault that they are in foster or adoption systems.
Adopting children through out all ages, not just from birth, is such a wonderful thing to do, and honestly I would adopt as many kids as I would be allowed.
They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.
don’t believe me? look:
these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own
See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??
Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-
what? what’s this?
Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.
Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.
Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.
Curvy ladies: Men’s dress pants have more room in the butt. I don’t know why, I only know that all my dress pants for work are off the rack in the men’s department in Target. Literally nobody has noticed, except a couple of my younger coworkers who’ve asked me–you guessed it–”oh my god, where did you find pants with pockets?”
Tall ladies: men’s pants are easier to find in longer lengths than women’s pants are.
Trans ladies: Wanna get on this gravy train, but afraid people will misgender you for wearing clothes off the men’s racks? Step one: tell me who these people are and I will punch them in the face. Step two: if it doesn’t make you dysphoric, please don’t feel obligated to wear pants off the women’s racks if pants off the men’s racks are more comfy/useful to you. I’m a cis woman who’s been wearing pants from the boys’ section and, later, the men’s section, ever since I hit puberty and in thirteen years maybe, maybe half a dozen people have noticed. And it’s always women asking the oh-my-god-pockets question. You’re all good. ❤
Fat ladies: you will pay the same for a pair of 42×32 jeans as for a pair of 34×32 jeans, instead of having to pay some kind of Fat Penance Tax by way of being in the “plus size” section. Also, did I mention more room in the butt?
Ladies concerned about modesty: For obvious reasons, there is more crotch space in men’s pants. Embrace it and enjoy a life free from cameltoe worries and spontaneous labia-wedgies when you squat down.
All ladies: I swear to god the waists in women’s pants these days are made specifically to fit exactly nobody so that no matter what you do, your underwear will show. Men’s pants do not do this. The waists sit where they’re supposed to and will actually lay flat against the small of your back instead of flopping open to show your unmentionables to the world. If you want hiphugger jeans, buy one leg-length too small and one waist-size too large and let them hang, and they still won’t accidentally show your undies. Men’s pants will last longer. They cost less, in a lot of cases. Embrace the men’s jeans. Buy the men’s jeans. Stop buying shitty flimsy women’s jeans that wear out in six months.
AND FINALLY: to determine your size in men’s pants, take a tape measure around your waist at its smallest point. This is your waist size and will be the first number in a pair of men’s pants. Next, take the tape measure from about an inch below your no-no squares parts, and run it to your ankle. (You may need a friend or parent to help with this.) This is your inseam length, and will be the second number on a pair of men’s pants. Men’s and boys’ pants are tailored the same way, so if you have trouble finding your waist size in men’s, hop over to the boys’ section. Feel no shame. If they’d give us decent fucking pants we wouldn’t have to steal theirs, right?
Listen you guys, I am SO MAD ABOUT THIS. I’ve seen this first post before, and recently my mom said, “Hey, did you see that post on Tumblr about shopping for jeans in the men’s department?”
And I said yeah, I’d seen it, I’ve been through the Trying To Fit Clothes On My Stupid Body wars, and this post really only applied to skinny jeans because they’re so stretchy. It couldn’t possibly work for regular jeans! I have TRIED SO MANY TIMES. I’ve always shopped in the men’s department because women’s clothes are like 90% bullshit and 10% fake pockets.
But I hadn’t seen the second addition, which gave me more hope, and I decided to just try on a few pairs when I was at Old Navy the other day. They have some “classic” jeans with no give to them at all, which is what I was trying on years ago that convinced me it just wasn’t possible. (Jeans in my price range didn’t really come with any form of stretch back then, as I recall. Textile technology is bad-ass.) But these days they mostly have “flex” jeans that have some give to them. (Women’s jeans are usually labeled “stretch” but apparently men’s have to be “flex” like they need stretchy garments so their HUGE MUSCLES don’t just TEAR THEIR CLOTHES!)
This was totally an impulse decision so I couldn’t measure myself, but I grabbed a few sizes based on what I vaguely thought my measurements probably were and decided it couldn’t possibly be worse than the endless cycle of regret, dissatisfaction, and recrimination that is trying on women’s clothing.
The first pair I tried on fit like a DREAM. I’ve been gaining weight lately which is a whole separate nightmare (mainly centered around “but I don’t WANT to buy new bras, this is bullshit!”) and the reason I need to buy new jeans because nothing freaking fits me, and I was sure these wouldn’t either, but DAMN. They’re the best pair of jeans I own. Twice as thick, pockets twice as big, legs nice and loose (they don’t even sell women’s jeans with a cut remotely similar to this), and contrary to my super dumb opinion from before this experience, they’ve got my plenty of room for all my womanly curvey bits. AND because they’re actually a relaxed fit instead of trying to cling to every inch of me, they don’t show my weight nearly as much as my women’s jeans do, they’re easier to move in, they’re not constantly inching down my hips with every move I make, and overall they just make me feel GOOD about how I look which is a strange new sensation I could definitely get used to.
It’s like a miracle. I want to cry both out of joy and because of all the shitty jeans now filling my closet when I could have been buying comfortable, relaxed, pocket-having men’s jeans all these years. Many blessings to the posters above, may your crops grow and your cows give milk and your jeans hold all the gadgets you desire.
Also: men’s pants have constant sizes that are based off of actual measurements instead of the women’s whatever-the-company-wants-to-make-the-size sizes. They’re far more reliable and your size will translate to other brands.
@get-dunkd-on help me remember this for our next Goodwill run lmao
I HAVE to try some men’s jeans. Sick of these super skinny show everything always having to be hitched up no pocket crap jeans!
Honestly signal boost. Because imagine this actually starts some kind of ludicrous pants revolution that ends up causing women’s pants fashion company’s sales to tank, absolutely forcing them to realize men’s pants have always had the right idea and start doing that instead of this bullshit. Like just imagine. And don’t just signal boost this. Tell every woman you know. Tell every trans friend and every curvy friend out there. You see a lady down the street, stop her and tell her you’ve discovered a new gospel and it’s purchasing men’s pants. With the way women spread information when we’re excited, the mentioned scenario could actually be hella achievable
PRAISE THE UNIVERSE I FOUND THIS POST AGAIN
Guys. Gals. Non binary pals. As a trans ftm person who just recently started shopping in the men’s department and has gigantic hips full of dysphoria let me tell you a thing.
Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. I repeat. Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. You don’t need to go to the dress pants to fit your lovely curvy self in there. Go to the regular section or big and tall if you’re a bit taller and/or wider, and there’ll be a little section of athletic style jeans. They’ve still got the giant blessed pockets and the room in the crotch and if you’re really curvy with a large bone structure like I am you can get yourself some quality pants.
This has been an addition by your local nb trans dude. Thank you for your time.
Reblog to save a fucking life
Don’t stop at pants! Men’s shirts are longer in the torso. Have a long frame and not in the mood for a belly shirt? Want a sweater that doesn’t start to ride up after a couple washes? Men’s section for you!
Men’s t-shirts are typically made of more opaque material than some women’s tees. Having trouble finding a white top that actually covers your bra? Check the men’s section.
A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.
I would watch the crap outta this like wow
Envy: “Glut, back off the guy, okay?”
Gluttony: “I’m just saying he could stand to gain a few pounds! I made spaghetti!”
Sloth: “After we eat, it’s gonna be time for a nice nap. We’ve earned it!”
Pride: “Damn right we did!”
Just imagine the Catholic Church making a statement regarding this new tv show.
the seven heavenly virtues live next door and Wont Stop causing trouble
So a tiny story: on Black Friday a few weeks ago I went to Gamestop to buy my brother a game for Christmas, and I noticed this older man was watching me like a hawk. He was loitering around the front of the store without really buying anything, and every time I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye he was looking at me. I went to look at the PS4 games, and he was looking at something right behind me. I checked out the Nintendo games, and he was looking at them too. I was the only woman in the store, by the way.
By the time I got in line to pay he was loitering at the front of the store again, and I just had that feeling that he was going to try and take the game I just bought, or steal my purse, as soon as I left the store. OR, he was going to try and follow me home. And I know I don’t have to explain that terror to any woman reading this, but all I could think was that I’m in this Gamestop alone with at least twenty other men and something is about to happen. I’m beginning to freak out, to the point where I’ve just pulled my pepper spray out of my purse and into the pocket of my coat.
So there I am, next in line to pay, and there is this GIGANTIC dudebro right behind me, and I say gigantic as a 6 foot tall woman. He says, “Ma’am? Don’t be offended, but would it be alright if I walked you to your car?” and I was like “Are you serious?” and he was like “There are some weird guys in here right now. Have you noticed that guy watching you?” and then I showed the dudebro the pepper spray in my pocket and he was like “Right on. Would you still let me walk you to your car?” and I said yes.
So I paid, and waited while HE paid, and he walked me to my car. And just as I was getting in, the weird guy who’d been loitering came out of the store, saw me and my dudebro, and turned around and walked away in the opposite direction.
In short: men who recognize that women are unsafe in dark alleys, college campuses, grocery stores, gas stations and retail stores and do something about it are the kind of quality men that this world needs more of.
Please for the love of god yes.
My friend left class before I did. My friend is a 6+ft and 250+ lbs. So he’s not tiny guy. I ended up calling him and had him come back to the building our class was in and walk me to my car. It was 10 oclock at night and I just hated walking around campus by myself at night. I always felt safer with him around since I did have friends who were assaulted on campus. He didn’t even think anything about coming back.
SourFlame 