sockablock:

Hello and welcome to this week’s installment of Jay’s Dumb D&D Items:

The Staff of Insect Plague: a gnarled wooden staff standing at 6 feet tall, topped with a smooth green stone. It can be used once per day to summon a swarm of butterflies that engulf a 20-ft cube. No damage dealt—but it is quite pretty.

The Pocket of Holding: a small pocket that can be sewn into any article of clothing. Holds up to 80 pounds of whatever will fit through the opening.

The Feather of Heavy Fall: though light as a feather to its holder, the object itself weighs as much as a kilogram of steel. It will also double your own weight, so try not to trip or walk off a cliff without noticing, because you’ll be taking 2x damage from any fall. 

A Hunk of Coal: a hunk of coal that gives a off a faint magical aura. You’re sure it has some kind of arcane properties. That’s what Detect Magic says, right? So it must, right?

Wit for Dummies: you’ve heard of Sparring and you’ve heard of Magic, now introducing Wit for Dummies! Once per day, this small leather-bound book will allow any non-bard to cast either Vicious Mockery or Cutting Words. 

Kitty Biscuits: a metal tin of 12 small biscuits. If fed to a cat/cat-like creature, it will grant advantage on animal handling checks (or persuasion checks) for 10 minutes. Also, will inexplicably attract all felines towards you in a 30-ft radius.

And one from the lovely @mochagabe:

The Ring of Purification and Refreshment: instantly turns any beverage the wearer holds into sparkling water (including but not limited to: beer, still water, poison, healing potions)